Bending hearts
by dts12
Summary: Blessed are the hearts that can bend, they shall never be broken." As Lucas & Peyton face their new life together, the past mingles with the present and gives everyone pause for thought.
1. Kindly Unspoken

**Hi :) So I've never done one of these before, and would love to know any thoughts or ideas? This takes place post 6x01, taking out the Q stuff. I may leave Brookes attack in, depending on where it goes. I'd love some reviews! Thanks, Dawn.**

Stuck in that hazy, warm moment between being asleep and awake, Peyton's green eyes lingered on the sleeping form next to her, and wondered if she was dreaming. His jaw beautifully defined, his glorious chest rising and falling slowly as he dreamt and his large, masculine hands that lingered near her leg all conspired to make her heart race, her adrenaline surge and hurtle her towards reality.

As she took a deep breath of cologne tinged air, she wished to take her semi-dream with her, so she could find a way to bottle the heady rush she felt upon simply seeing him. Her green eyes blinked away the night, and as they did she let them fall closed again as she turned her head, before she hesitantly looked to the other half of her bed, and gladly saw the other half of her. Lucas slept on, oblivious to the effect he was having on her heart, and she rejoiced in the familiar feeling of knowing he was with her in her dreams, and her reality, finally. As she smiled a smile that lit her green eyes, she crept from the bed and went to their kitchen to start the coffee maker, already craving the caffeine her racing heart didn't need.

It was as she took in the morning sun rise from the kitchen that she heard the thud of mail on the mat, and the tread of footsteps that signalled Lucas had joined the land of the awake. Deciding to leave Lucas to shower alone in peace for a change, Peyton padded down the hallway, smiling at the quiet but tuneless singing that was emitting from the bathroom. Clutching a large pile of letters, she took her coffee and snuggled into the warm, empty bed below the very new print of the infamous Vegas skyline from their recent getaway, and began sorting through the mail.

As she smiled at the sheer number of fan letters her fiancé received daily, she came across something that made her heart stop, and her coffee mug freeze between her hands and her lips. As she took a moment to breathe deeply, and tune her thoughts back to the man in the shower whose name she would soon take, Lucas emerged from the shower, wrapped in a towel from the waist down and glistening with water beads from the waist up. Peyton didn't respond to the kiss he placed on her hair as he passed, and so he retraced his steps, took her beautiful jaw in his hands and kissed her beautiful lips with such a gentleness, it was almost like a whisper. As he went to walk away, her hands on his wrist pulled him back and this time their kiss was anything but gentle.

As she sought comfort and reassurance, he wondered where her head was at but was damned if he would break the kiss to ask. As their tongues danced a slow but slick dance of follow and retreat, Lucas lifted his strong hands to her soft hair and grabbed two handfuls of blonde sunshine. As he allowed one hand to meander down her back and pull her towards him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and the back of his head, pulling him into her as though she wished they were one. As their kiss slowed, and their tongues finished their dance, Peyton held Lucas close as her heart continued to race. His lips travelled down her neck, leaving a trail of heat as he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tight.

Her green eyes closed, he in took her soft lips, the light freckles across her cheekbones and the beautiful dip of her collarbone where she loved to be kissed. As he gently did just that, her eyes snapped open and she pulled his head up to meet hers. As she looked at him, and saw the intensity of her gaze he had to ask.

"Peyton, whats wrong?"

She nodded towards the letter, feeling foolish for letting it bother her now, so soon after Vegas and the promises he had made. Lucas looked at the manilla envelope and wondered what it could say to bring such sadness to her eyes. As he read the return address on the corner of the letter, she spoke in a voice barely above a whisper, telling him all he needed to know. He dropped the letter, but the name still screamed out at them, even from the floor.

"Lindsey E. Strauss"


	2. Wonderwall

Dear Lucas,

_Dear Lucas,_

_I don't know why I'm writing this letter, as every instinct in my body is telling me not to, but something compels me to. I think it's because of the clarity you once told me you felt when you wrote, as though your fears and broken dreams had been washed away by hope. I wish for that clarity, as I sit alone in my apartment in New York, and wonder where you are now._

_We finally said goodbye, and I apologize for calling you from the airport. You deserved better than me messing with your head, as you struggled with a darkness so overpowering I worried it may take you for good. Your book dedication opened my eyes to my darkness, my fear. You._

_To love as freely as you do scared me; the fact that your heart loved someone other than I scared me even more. I don't resent Peyton or that space that she occupies in your mind and soul that I never could; I just wish I had seen it coming. There is only so much a heart can take before it bends, and breaks._

_I write you this letter with hope, that you will tell me there cant be another who you love the way you love me; although my own heart knows you cant, I think I could accept it if you were willing to try._

_You asked me if I miss you; the truth is I miss you everyday. It's all I do, Lucas._

_Always,_

_Lindsey _

As Lucas reread his former fiancés letter, his mind wandered as the music in the background filled in the empty silence. He opened his desk drawer, and knew what lay in the small purple envelope at the back; the pictures of the woman in his heart, from his past, present and future. As Lucas took in Brooke's strong, steely confidence, Lindsey's beautiful blue eyes and Peyton's heart warming smile, he wondered how he came to be in this position – lucky enough to be able to say he had not only loved another, but loved 3 others. He knew he was luckier than most, but the downward turned lips of his fiancé, soul mate and best friend that he had seen this morning were enough to question his choices, and lead him to look at the women in his life.

As the frown above his soulful grey eyes looked set to become permanent, the fourth woman in his life shook him from his cloud of self-pity with a hug and a glance at the pictures on his desk, before sitting down in his office chair and waiting with a small smile.

Haley James Scott knew Lucas better than almost anybody; childhood best friends turned brother and sister-in-law, there wasn't a lot going on with Lucas that Haley didn't know. And one look at his despondent smile told her more than he realized.

"Hey coach. How was Vegas?"

As Lucas smiled at his best friend, his gaze lifted and took in the worry on her face.

"It was… a dream come true. My best friend told me to stop hiding my heart, and she was right. My heart has never felt more alive."

And it was true, for every beat of his kind heart; Lucas felt his resolve to be a better man ring in his mind. He had seen the worry in Haley and Nathan's eyes too many times to count; he didn't want to be the cause of his unborn niece's untimely arrival.

"Luke, that's awesome. You deserve to be happy…but I have to ask. What's with the pictures?" She glanced at the desk, and then at her best friend, while absent mindedly stroking her stomach.

"I got a letter in the mail from Lindsey today, and Peyton saw the envelope. She hasn't said anything but there's something worrying her; and I think it's me."

Lucas stood then, and began pacing the floor of his office. Backwards and forwards he went, mumbling incoherent thoughts as Haley knew enough to sit back and wait. He sat down as quickly as he had stood up, and held his head in his hands.

"I called her from the airport. The airport! What was I thinking? You don't call the love of your life from the airport and ask her to marry you… idiot! No wonder she's having second thoughts, I'd have second thoughts too. I just… I love her so much Hales, I had to do something to show her that. I saw her drawing on the rivercourt, and I felt like I could breathe again, y'know? I felt still, and brave. I wanted her to feel me, to know I meant what I was saying. But she doesn't trust me."

Haley smiled.

"Lucas Eugene Scott. I love you, but dude, you worry too much. Peyton knows you care about her, she showed up didn't she? I think that says a lot. Your comet came back to you Luke, be thankful for that. If you ask me, it's not how you proposed that's worrying her. It's the timing of it all. Look back on this past year, and ask yourself if you've always trusted your heart. Of course not! So is it any wonder Peyton is having doubts now?"

As Lucas thought back to the man who came face to face with Peyton on the rivercourt a year ago, he smiled at Haley's wily intuition, and put the purple envelope away. Hoping the girl who was now affixed to the corner of his computer screen knew where his heart lay, he hugged his best friend and picked up his car keys. Knowing the following conversation was long overdue, he headed out to his truck. As he turned on the radio, he smiled.

"_Because baby, your gonna be the one that saves me._

_And after all, you're my wonderwall."_

Music had a way of saying it all.


	3. All That I Am

**Its 01:46 here, and the writing just keeps on coming! Your thoughts would be awesome right about now, as I ponder directions to take… This ones a bit hot you guys! Couldn't resist. Already writing the next chapter… reviews please!**

It seemed absurd at first, the idea of napping when her mind was a mess. But there was something comforting about pulling on one of Lucas shirts, slipping into their bed and letting memories assault her mind as she looked for peace in her dreams.

His lips on her neck the night they'd first made love in Honeygrove…. their nights alone in her teenage bedroom, just them and her music… the undeniable spark she'd felt the first time they'd spoken…

Memory after memory brought him to life in her dreams. As she relived the moments after they won the State Championship, Lucas quietly let himself into his childhood home, and slowly entered the bedroom. His frown vanished when he saw her asleep, peaceful and stunning with every breath. Her long blonde hair fanned out across the pillow, he hands almost together beside her cheek and her legs bare except for the tails of his shirt, Lucas knew he had never wanted somebody as much as he wanted Peyton Sawyer at that moment.

Resisting the urge to feel her skin on his skin for now, he settled her gently brushing a stray hair from her cheek with his thumb, and lightly touching her beautiful cheeks. As she stirred under his gaze and touch, he drank in the depths of her green eyes, and understood what he needed to do. As she slowly left her dreams behind, the colour returning to her cheeks, she leaned into him. Allowing no more than a fraction of a second before he met her lips, he felt her melt against him and was sure his heart would beat out of his chest.

As she pulled him on top of her, and felt her sadness from earlier disappear, she felt her worry disappear as his tongue danced with hers, increasing the pace from frustratingly slow to urgent in a few seconds. As she lost herself in their kiss, she was suddenly itching to feel his skin on hers. Her fingers found the hem of his t-shirt and barely breaking their kiss she lifted it over his head and flung it away. As his fingers all but ripped the buttons off the shirt that was separating their skin, Peyton let out a soft moan in the back of her throat as she felt the heat inducing graze of the soft hair on his navel touch her. Their hearts beating in unison now, his jeans and pants were quickly kicked off, as were her panties. Thankfully, nothing separated them now, except the distance Lucas placed between them as he lifted himself up so as to take in the glorious sight below him.

Her soft skin glistened with beads of sweat that had nothing to do with the June air outside, and as he kissed his way from her neck to her navel, he enjoyed every stop on the way. Her ample breasts, and the way they responded to his touch; the soft curve of her slim waist that his hands loved to grab. But his eyes feasted on her narrow hips that gave way to her long, long legs that itched to wrap themselves around his waist. As her hands reached for him, and the long hard length of him, he breathed deeply before lowering himself to her lips, and hands, that tugged at his desire and made him forget his past mistakes.

Feeling dizzy as the rock hard length of him filled her inside, and drove her crazy with every slow thrust, she begged him for more.

"Lucas… please…faster" she panted, as she was lost in a haze of desire and frustration. Wrapping her legs around his waist, and pulling him deeper into her as she knew he liked, he let out a moan that came from the depths of his soul. As her hips matched his thrust for thrust, she closed her eyes and abandoned herself to always remembering how complete she felt at this moment.

As their thrusts reached a speed that Lucas knew meant release was in sight, he whispered her name and touched her eyes. They flew open, and locked with his and stayed with him as he thrust into her one last time before shouting her name and a few choice expletives before he felt his world tilt, and her shudder and orgasm beneath him. As she said his name again and again, Lucas kissed her again and again, teasing her and bringing her so close to the edge again. Their eyes never left each other, communicating all that needed to be said.

As Peyton rolled on top of Lucas, enjoying the view of her fiancé, his cell phone rang and broke their connection briefly as he looked for his phone, Her racing heart filling the quiet, Peyton snatched the phone from Lucas, and told whoever it was to call later, and threw the phone on the floor, and succumbed to the gentle touch of hands grazing the spot between her legs that sent waves through her body.

"Now then, Miss Sawyer, where were we?" chuckled Lucas, as she threw her head back and sighed loudly. As her breath quickened, he heard a knock at the door, before footsteps clicked in their hall.

Diving for her shirt, and the safety of the bathroom Peyton ran, giggling and red, to the bathroom leaving Lucas to confront their intruder.

As he pulled his jeans on, a familiar voice drifted into his room, and his heart stopped. As his eyes flickered over to the bathroom door, he heard her call...

"Lucas? Are you here? Its Lindsey. You said to stop by…?"


	4. More Than Words

**I'd love to know where you see this story going… :D**

"Lindsey?"

As a topless Lucas cursed himself for his poor timing, his heart ached to comfort his fiancé who he knew would be broken in the bathroom. Finding his discarded t-shirt near the window, he pulled it on and took a deep breath before stepping into the hallway and looking at his former fiancé, and wondering how he was supposed to feel.

Her blue eyes were beautiful, her skin soft, her hair silky and her stomach taut and flat but these did nothing to his heart. Feeling callous at how quickly he had moved on from her, he moved toward her and hugged her tightly, feeling her turn her head toward his neck and kiss him, just where she knew it drove him wild.

Taking her wrists into his hands, he pulled her away and steered her towards the living room. His eyes caught movement from the bathroom as walked, and he resolved to end this, here and now.

"How are you Lucas? You read my letter, I take it?"

He sighed. "Yes, this morning. After Peyton saw the envelope."

Lindsey couldn't deny the edge to his voice, and she felt for the blonde. "I'm sorry Luke," she said, her voice shaking as her blue eyes filled with tears. "I didn't want anyone to get hurt."

"Then why are you here?" Peyton's calm tones broke the tension in the living room, if only momentarily. As she looked at Lindsey's beautifully broken face, she felt wracked with guilt. Knowing all too well what it felt like to hurt others with her love for Lucas, she regarded Lindsey and touched her shoulder empathetically.

"I don't want your PITY!" Lindsey suddenly yelled, causing Peyton to jump. "You think I came here so you could feel sorry for me? Hate to say it Fake Blondie, but you are the last person I want to see." She turned to look at Lucas, and was surprised at the anger building in his grey eyes.

"I don't pity you Lindsey, I **feel** for you," Peyton said, in a voice laced with too much concern, given the situation. "I know what its like to want Lucas, to need him. I'm just sorry things happened the way they did."

As Lindsey took one step closer to Peyton, Lucas' deep voice shattered the quiet resentment between the women. "Lindsey, I think you need to leave. Go to New York, go see Haley, whatever.

Just please, leave my fiancé alone. Now."

Fiancé. The word stung, though thankfully not as much as she'd thought. As Lindsey quietly turned and left Lucas' house, she resolved to hold her tears in till she got to her car. Reaching the door, she looked over her shoulder at Lucas and Peyton holding one another, and her resolve crumbled. She would never have that, not here, not now.

Allowing one final look at Lucas before she left, her heart ached when she saw he only had eyes for Peyton. As he drank in her beauty, Lindsey quietly closed the door behind her, took a deep breath and climbed into her SUV. As the engine roared to life, Lucas relaxed a little and moved to the kitchen to make some tea.

Peyton remained motionless, fixated to the spot.

As Lucas' hand touched hers, she snapped back from her reverie, and was surprisingly calm as she spoke.

"Lucas? I think we need to… talk. About Lindsey, about us, about it all. There's things I need to know."

As Lucas nodded, he switched off the ever present music, cutting the Coldplay song off mid-verse.

"_And I will try, to fix you."_


	5. Feel this

**Thank you for the reviews, I'm so glad you guys are liking this, given its my first time writing ever! I hope this chapter does itself justice, it may be susceptible to change… It's a bit long, sorry!**

"Luke."

Her voice held no anger, no sadness and did not betray the fear she had felt slowly creep on her the moment she heard Lindsey's voice. Meeting her gaze, Lucas knew what she needed to hear, knew that she deserved to hear everything. And yet, the words stuck in his throat. Trying to convey his emotions through his eyes, he kept his locked to hers as he moved forward and wrapped her tightly in his arms, feeling his heart begin to race when she didn't respond.

Breaking out of his embrace, Peyton walked to the window, and took in the view of Tree Hill at night, calm and still.

"I remember that night… the night you said you hated me. Mia had recorded a cover of 'Hallelujah' and it was playing in my mind as I saw you broken at that bar, on the edge of your pain, barely even recognizing me as I took you home. In the car, you were so drunk you couldn't sit up, you just lolled against my shoulder and filled the car and my head with your presence, so broken but still, all you. We fell a few times going from the car into the house, which made you swear like I've heard you do before."

She looked over her shoulder, and saw him avoiding her gaze, looking too at the view, sadness swimming in his eyes.

"We made it to your room, and stumbled down the hall, me barely supporting your weight. Your hands were everywhere, touching my hair, my waist, the side of my neck. I let myself believe you knew it was me you were holding, until you mumbled a name that definitely wasn't Peyton and staggered across to your bed. You tripped, reached your arms out for someone to catch you – and I was there. I took you to the bed, and tried to get you into some pyjamas. Your hands lingered on my wrists, sending chills down my spine with a feather light touch. My heart began to soar, until you managed to look me in the eye. And all I saw was confusion, and hurt; I wasn't meant to be here. Your eyes fell shut again, and I simply left you dressed, and put you under the covers. As you finally gave in to your wish to forget the world and slept, I kissed your forehead and walked away.

"You called my name, and I turned, hopeful, to look at you and flinched. Your eyes were so… dark; in so much pain. 'I hate you. I wish you never came back, you ruined my life.' So much hurt, in just a sentence. You turned over, and the darkness pulled you in. And my heart broke, and I turned and left, running to my car. My car that you filled even now, with your smell and your beer soaked jacket."

She interrupted her own story, turning to face him, not knowing why that story had been the first she'd told.

"You said you HATED me Lucas! You look me dead in the eye and said you'd wished I'd never come back, and then tried to take it back the next day, with your wistfulness about the first time you saw me. Its not enough!"

Her angry words filled the silence, as he still refused to meet her angry, intense gaze. He took a step toward her, and she took 3 back.

"Don't, Lucas, not now. You owe me something, something more than a book about a scientist and comet, more than a whimsical trip to Vegas. You keep saying you love me, but I don't feel it Lucas. I cant feel it."

"Feel this." And he placed her hand on his chest, over his flawed heart, and she felt it race. Out of fear or want she didn't know. She took her hand away.

"Lucas, I-"

The words died in her throat as he kissed her with such feeling, she was almost knocked off her feet. He put his heart and soul into the kiss, and felt his head go light at the thought of losing her. Breaking the kiss all too soon, Peyton's red lips did not smile.

"You cant just do that! Lucas, you cant just kiss away the pain! Look at me, look at me now."

He turned to her, and met her intense gaze with his own.

"Do you realize what it did to me, seeing you say 'I do' in that church? I was sat next to Brooke, barely breathing through the pain, and watched you swear to never love another woman for the rest of your life. She left _you_ Lucas, had she said 'I do' I wouldn't be here right now, I'd be with Brooke, bitching about your new wife."

She allowed a small smile. Then waited. And waited. Considering whether to stay or go, she took a step towards the bedroom. Knowing her all to well Lucas stood in front of her, and blocked her way.

"Peyton, I'm sorry. Ok? Its not enough but its all I have. I'm so sorry for all the mistakes I've made, and the man I am when I make them. I love you, believe that. This past year… Lindsey, the wedding, I…"

His voice trailed off as he was lost for words.

"Please don't leave. I love you, Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. Stay. Fight for us."

She realized he knew her better than he gave her credit for. She turned, and sat down. She held his hand in hers, tracing the love line on his palm, feeling his pulse slow as her fingers intertwined with his.

"Peyton, you have to know, the night you came back to Tree Hill and I saw you on the rivercourt, I damn near died. I'd imagined that moment so many times, the moment you'd come back to me, that I thought I was dreaming. And I lost my dream once, I couldn't do it again. Lindsey was safe, my heart was safe with her because she didn't have it; neither did Brooke, not completely, which is why I'm sitting here with you now, my moms engagement ring sitting on your left hand, because you have my heart, and you always have. I do remember the first time I ever saw you; and I remember saying to Mouth "Bet you 10 bucks I marry her someday" He laughed, said I was dreaming, but I had an instinct, a gut reaction. It was always you."

She smiled, not quite reaching her soulful eyes, but it was better than tears.

"When you fixed my car, you fixed my heart." She laughed, despite the pain, remembering the speech she'd planned in her head. His face betrayed his confusion, and she let it pass. She gently touched the stubble along his jaw line, before taking a breath and continuing.

"The night you proposed, to Lindsey. After you kissed me you proposed, to her, with the ring you'd proposed to me with. I just… I don't… why…"

As she struggled to find the words, he filled in her silence.

"You scare me Peyton, more than anything _you_ scare me." Feeling her eyes on his, he looked at their intertwined hands and continued. "The thought of having you again and then losing you is more than I can take. You have my heart Peyton, all of it, every piece. And I love you, Miss Sawyer, and I'll be damned if you break my heart again. When you kissed me, I more awake than I had done for 3 years; my heart felt like it was going to flat line, the adrenaline was an overload. I went home, to tell Lindsey about our kiss, and how I felt. And I saw her holding your ring, looking sadder than I'd seen her, begging me to give her a reason to stay. And I was a coward, because I chose to feel nothing, to be numbed to the world, then to feel everything and risk losing it all. She was safe, Peyton, there was no-"

She interrupted his soft words with a gentle kiss to his lips, barely there, not leaving a mark. But he felt it, and she felt herself become lighter, as she let go of the weight around her.

"Lucas. Please look at me. I love you, more than you could ever know, and I know you love me. I'm here, now, tomorrow, always. People don't always leave Luke; sometimes they come back."

As the day gave way to the black of night, their hands stayed locked together as they talked and talked, about their pasts and the future. Neither one giving any thought to the blonde who had decided against driving away, and was a silent witness to their coming together. She was not angry, bitter or full of revenge. She was simply broken, as she wiped a tear and finally drove away.

**I promise, no silly scenes of Lindsey threatening to kill Peyton or anything like that. Next chapter soon, hope you enjoyed this one!**


	6. Maybe Tomorrow

**Hey guys... late night + early start me updating like a crazy person! Toying with direction for this story, so reviews would be very welcome!**

Her throat dry, her eyes still damp and her body aching from the lack of sleep, Lindsey noticed the arrival of a new day with nothing but sadness. Hearing Lucas' words about where his heart truly lay had crushed her, though they weren't a surprise. She wasn't lying, she had hoped to someday be his comet, but in her heart she knew it wasn't meant to be. Walking away from Lucas, beautiful, smart, flawed, her heart broke a little. She knew he was afraid, of being alone, of Peyton and Lindsey really didn't want to hurt him.

But she'd seen the way he looked at Peyton when he thought she wasn't looking, and she knew. His eyes didn't simply see who she was now, they saw the girl he fell in love with in high school, the girl he'd felt a connection to that he felt down to his soul. He saw her beauty, and he saw the future they'd have, with the beautiful children and the ridiculous happiness. She was jealous, but not of Peyton. She was jealous of Lucas, for being able to give his heart again even after he'd been hurt; she didn't know if she had that kind of strength.

Vowing to find it, to become someone better, she pulled a piece of stationary from her purse, and began to write.

_Dear Lucas,_

_I promise this isn't a letter of a broken heart, pleading for you to fix it._

_This is me, letting go. I love you Lucas Scott, and I always will. But I know now, what you've always known – Peyton is your soulmate, your comet. The one._

_My heart is not breaking Lucas, its bending. I refuse to let the pain take me, and will be damned if I let you break my heart now, after all this time._

_I wish you nothing but happiness Luke, even if it isn't with me._

_Tread carefully Luke; she's placed her dreams at your feet._

_Always,_

_Lindsey._

Feeling clarity of mind for the first time in a while, she took a deep breath and headed for the shower. As the hot water washed away the last memories of Lucas' touch on her skin, she sighed feeling weightless.

Wrapping the towel around herself, she fell into an easy, dreamless sleep, finding peace at last.

Peyton Sawyer's dream was a jumble of fact, and fiction. Faces and memories blended together, as she tried to make sense of it all. One face stood out.

Feeling a kiss below her earlobe that felt too good to be a dream, Peyton slowly swam back to the surface and felt her heart thud once more as she looked into the eyes of her forever.

He smiled, as she reached out her hand and touched his jawline, checking if he was real, that he was really here. He gently kissed her lips as she woke from a long sleep; it felt like she was awake for the first time in a long time, and she relished in the feeling of his lips on hers.

"Morning babe" he whispered in her ear, before moving his mouth southwards, kissing his way down to her navel. As his lips left a scorching trail on her skin, she was suddenly thrown to a memory she had long forgotten to feel.

_Finding her bracelet, Peyton couldn't help but let a few tears escape as she felt the relief at finding her heart. She looked up, and saw him move towards her, hugging her and taking all her pain away. He pulled back, and simply looked at her, his eyes searching hers for a reason to lower his lips to hers. And she gave him one. As she moved to him, he reached for her and they met with such desire it frightened her. His lips responded to hers, and his tongue fought against hers to lead, as they finally gave in to the feelings buried beneath the surface. Clothes couldn't be removed fast enough, as she itched to feel his skin, kiss him there on the neck. As he kissed his way towards her navel, her heart all but soared; and then broke a few moments later when they both remembered the brunette waiting in Tree Hill. Brooke._

Peyton was brought rushing back to the present when Lucas' kisses headed further south, leaving her speechless but for his name.

"Lucas…" she breathed, unable to think anything else.

As his hot, warm tongue traced her soft spot in slow circles, Peyton felt the blood rushing to her head. His fingers joined his tongue, and soon she was being pushed to the edge, feeling the first waves of her orgasm creep up on her. Not wanting to feel it alone, she pulled his head away and brought his gaze to meet hers. Feeling nothing but desire, Peyton's hand reached for his hot, hard length and slowly stroked the length of him, feeling his breath become ragged on her neck as he kissed her, bit her gently.

Her stroking his penis, her eyes never leaving his, his soul rejoiced. As she moved her hands to his hips, and guided him into her, he saw nothing but her. As Peyton matched Lucas' slow thrust for thrust, she felt whole again. Slowly, almost painfully slowly, he pushed into her and filled her completely. They came together, calling for each other as their hearts raced.

Panting for breath, she all but whispered "I love you Lucas" into the quiet, before closing her eyes and resting her head on his chest. His heartbeat was erratic, frenzied almost, like hers. As tiredness pulled at her mind, memories assaulted her once more.

_Rain lashing at the windows, his steely gaze looking anywhere but at her, she was crushed._

"_We were stupid, got carried away. It didn't mean anything."_

"_It didn't?" Lucas was afraid to ask, to give too much away._

_He looked into her beautiful green eyes as she answered, "Of course it did."_

Of course it did.


	7. What We Were

**I'm struggling a little here; reviews/ideas would make my day!**

Her long legs caused his eyes to flicker from his team running 1660's and take in her stunning, blonde beauty. He caught her eye, and couldn't stop the smile that crept onto his face. All he wanted was to run his fingers through her silky hair and kiss the special spot just above her collarbone. He would do later as well, and that thought pushed all others out of his mind. As he blew his whistle, her eyes were drawn to his, and it was as if all the teenagers in the gym vanished, just for a minute. Then Haley interrupted the bizarrely intense atmosphere.

"Peyton, hi! Come to check out practice?"

"Hey foxy, how you feeling?"

"Good thanks, getting bigger by the minute. Jamie thinks its hilarious! Here for Luke?

There was no denying that in a room of thousands, she only had eyes for him. She blushed, as she realized this was written across her face.

"I…uh…was looking for you, actually. Got a sec?"

Haley frowned, wondering what was going on. "Sure, wanna take a walk?"

Peyton nodded, and didn't meet Lucas' gaze as she left her old high school gym. Distracted by the scuffle that was about to break out on the court, he pulled his thoughts from Peyton.

"So… everything ok, Peyton? You seem kind of sad?" Haley's brown eyes swam with concern as her hand drifted towards her growing stomach.

Peyton sighed. "I'm fine, really. Lucas and I talked all night the other night about Lindsey, and the wedding… we're not past all the drama, I mean it _is_ me and Luke, but we're in a good place. No actually, I wanted to ask you about… Brooke. Have you heard from her lately?"

Haley looked up, and saw the anxiety in her friends eyes. "I got a text from her a few weeks ago, I've called her 5 or 6 times since, but she never answers…" Haley hesitated. "She asked how I was, and when I told her I was pregnant, she didn't reply. I don't know what's going on with her, maybe work has gotten crazy? Do you guys not…?"

"I haven't heard from Brooke since my pregnancy scare in LA, she stopped returning my calls and eventually I stopped making them. I just miss her sometimes, y'know?"

There was a silence that Haley waited for Peyton to fill. But she didn't.

"Peyton."

Haley's tone made Peyton look up and take a deep breath.

"I wanted to know that she's ok. I saw Lindsey last week, and losing Lucas just broke her. She was so sad, and so angry at me. Like I took something from her that I shouldn't have. And Lucas and I were in bed last night and it was like a flashback, to junior year." Haley flinched, as she remembered the mess Brooke, Lucas and Peyton got into.

"Do you remember when I was worried my dad had drowned while he was out at sea? Lucas and I, we went to see if a body they recovered was his, and we had to stay overnight at a motel. He took such good care of me and…we kissed, while he was dating Brooke. His necklace caught in my hair, a necklace from Brooke, and if it wasn't for that I don't think anything could have stopped us, there in that moment. I felt awful."

As Peyton was stuck in the past, Haley wondered where this was going.

"Haley, it felt just like it did years ago. I felt guilty, and dirty, like I stole someone elses life. I loved Lucas then, and I love him now, but I was thinking about Brooke and the past and… I feel responsible, for Lindsey's pain and Brooke and how much I hurt Lucas in LA… all of it."

Haley stepped forward and hugged Peyton, despite the bulge of her stomach. She didn't understand where it all came from, but she understood Peyton's confusion. She just wished she could do something for her best friend.

"Ok, Peyton, you have to stop this. I've seen you blame yourself for everything that's gone wrong since high school and its just… its ridiculous! Yes Brooke got hurt, but Lucas had a part in that too. You both could've walked away, but you didn't, because you can't. Brooke, Lindsey, and even me saw the pull between you two long before you did. You guys are like destiny or something, like your meant to be. Don't carry the weight of Lucas' poor actions around with you, what happened with Lindsey wasn't your fault, ok? You deserve to be happy Peyton, and you deserve to be happy with Lucas."

"Damn right she does." Lucas voice interrupted the girl talk, and Peyton smiled as Lucas wrapped his arms around her waist and she felt his kiss on her hair.

"What were you two talking about anyway, before I came over?" Lucas asked. Peyton winked at Haley.

Haley managed to convince Lucas he hadn't missed anything, as they headed for Peyton's car. Lucas' gaze drifted to Haley's stomach as he watched her climb carefully into the front seat, and he smiled at the thought of being an uncle again. As he then looked at his beautiful fiancé he saw, or he thought he saw, a flicker of something in her eyes as she too looked at Haley's ever growing beautiful baby bump.

Jealousy?


	8. Footprints In The Sand

**Hey guys ) Hope your enjoying this fic, I cant claim to have it all planned out, and I don't know where everything will fit. I'm learning! I'd LOVE your reviews, thoughts and input though!**

Lucas Scott was many things; broody, beautiful and a little selfish. He was also a good friend, a caring uncle and unafraid to show his fiancé just how she meant to him. Lucas was also not an idiot; and he knew when Peyton was hiding something from him – like now.

He kissed her neck, gently, as her hands wrapped around the base of his neck. Her fingers entwined in his hair, she pulled his head up to meet her and kissed him with every fibre of her being, her soft lips opening to let his tongue slide into her mouth and meet hers as they fought and tangled. His hand on her heart, he felt her heartbeat increase as she crushed herself into him. Worried by her intensity, he pulled away from the kiss and looked into her green eyes. She smiled, reached for his hand and locked her fingers with his, as they left her car and strolled towards the sandy beach.

Kicking off her shoes and running to the water, Peyton felt like a child again. Free, inhibited and happy, the water splashed her toes and made her squeal in surprise and delight. Her make up free face was lit with unadulterated joy, and her smile was wide and bright, and Lucas' heart skipped a beat. He loved to see her happy, and as he watched her, an idea sprang to mind. Quickly throwing his shoes, shirt and shorts onto their blanket, he raced towards her wearing nothing but his boxers and grabbed her with such force that all the air was knocked out of her lungs. Running into the cold sea, she laughed from deep within and tried to kick her way out of his grasp; but he wasn't going to let her go that easily. With the water reaching their hips, her shirt was surprisingly dry – that'd have to go.

She could read the playfulness in his eyes and didn't resist when he lifted her shirt over her head, and threw it in the general direction of the shore – not looking where it landed. All his eyes were on her – wet, golden and grabbing for him. She screamed, "Lucas Scott!" at the top of her voice as he picked her up and effortlessly threw her deeper into the water, before diving after her.

She didn't emerge from the water after a few seconds, and he couldn't see the distinctive flash of blonde hair he was searching for. As his heart picked up pace, he felt something behind him. Before he had the chance to turn around, she jumped on his back and pushed him under the water, chuckling as his tall, slender frame fell into the water despite his attempts to resist. She pushed him deep into the cold and swam to the shore, ditching her wet jeans, shoes and socks as she went.

"Peyton?"

As she emerged wet, smiling and almost naked onto the sand, she heard an all too familiar voice call her name. As those brown eyes sought out hers, she flushed red from her head to her toes.

"Nathan?"

He chuckled. "Don't be embarrassed Sawyer, I've seen it all before. Anyway, someone came to the house looking for you, luckily I came instead of her…"

"Her?" Lucas' voice rasped behind her, his hands making her wet skin tingle as his hands were at her waist.

"Yeah, her. Brooke came to the house Lucas, looking for you actually. I didn't know if she knew you two were… engaged, and figured it might shock her if she was expecting Lindsey, so here I am. Or was."

Nathan chuckled again, and headed for his car. "Nice bathing suits you guys," he shouted as his car roared to life, and headed back towards his expanding family.

"Wow. Brooke came home. Its been a long time for you guys huh. Peyton?"

But she was already in the car, looking for a towel or a sweater, suddenly feeling cold, small and silly. "Skinny dipping at night, how old are we? 14?

"Hey hey hey. Enough of that; seeing your naked wetness was pretty spectacular. Looked like it was for Nathan-"

He was interrupted by a smack on his arm, and he kissed the hand that his family ring sat on.

"Brooke's back. So?"

Lucas didn't understand, couldn't understand. She felt 17 again, as though she'd stolen her best friend's boyfriend all over again, and couldn't shake the guilt.

"Peyton, Haley told me about your conversation the other day. Look at me. You didn't steal or break anything, ok? I'm not an object, and I can't be taken or stolen. Our past is not our future. Lindsey isn't Brooke, and your not a bitch. Relax. There's nothing for you to worry about."

But Peyton couldn't meet his gaze. She worried for her friend, something must have happened to pull her back to Tree Hill. And she worried why Brooke wanted to see her.

As her hand fell absent mindedly to her flat stomach, her mind froze on a memory she'd rather forget. Four years ago, she lost her best friend; it couldn't happen again.

"Deep breath Sawyer" she whispered. "You can do this."


	9. Baby Steps

**I've read lots of fics about Brooke coming to TH to cause LP some trouble, and still being in love with Lucas. Meh. Let's not go down that route…! R-E-V-I-E-W-S!**

Why was she home? Brooke pondered this question herself, knowing her friends would be too, and came up with nothing. Its good for the soul, she'd read somewhere, to return to ones childhood home; and for the good of her soul, she left the bustle of New York for the quiet of Tree Hill.

Temporarily, of course, she reminded herself as she turned to see if Peyton's car was here yet. Feeling a stab of pain as she did so, she scolded herself for forgetting the doctors orders so soon. Taking a deep breath, she rearranged her jumper so her shoulders and chest were covered, as were her legs and arms. It was colder than she remembered here, and she tucked herself into a ball and lay on her side, thinking and feeling her past.

She thought how safe she felt here, despite the time that had passed. She smiled as she remembered catching site of Haley, and her glorious pregnant form. Haley suited it, Brooke mused, more than others might. She flinched, as she remembered her own pregnancy scares of high school, neither of them producing the miracle that is James Lucas Scott.

Lucas. Another stab of pain, just below her heart.

Although he was not what had pulled her to TH, she couldn't deny his memory was imprinted everywhere, his broody eyes etched into her mind. She smiled as she remembered the last she'd seen him; drunk. It took her back to their first date. A lifetime ago. She heard her name being called and slowly untucked herself, wincing a little.

As she slowly descended the stairs, she saw Lucas next to Nathan, his shoulders broader than she remembered and his hair blonder too. He laughed at something, and his smile reached his grey eyes. Glad to see him, she took in the rest of the room.

Peyton was here too, giggling at Jamie and touching Haley's bump, her face a picture when the baby kicked her hand away. Lucas' gaze focused not on Haley, but Peyton and Brooke understood immediately what Lucas' gaze meant. She had refused to think about the past all the way down here, because it seemed unnecessary. Dredging up their past wouldn't help anybody, least of all her and certainly not now.

Her quiet, slow descent had not gone unnoticed, and Peyton looked up to see her former best friend come back into her life, and panicked as she wondered what to say or do. Lucas' hand on the small of her back calmed her down as his fingers danced lightly on her spine, taking her mind away from Brooke, albeit only for a minute.

She smiled, amazed at how well this man knew her. Wanting his hand in hers, she reached for him but he had already gone.

"Hey Brooke" he said softly, enveloping her in his arms and enjoying seeing her again.

"Broody, nice to see you. How're you?" she rasped, after she left his embrace.

He glanced at his worried, glorious fiancé. "I have never been better Brooke. Never." He winked at Peyton, and steered Brooke to the kitchen, oblivious to her wincing below his touch on her arm.

Peyton could breathe now, thankfully. Haley held her gaze, and frowned.

"What's got you so wired Sawyer? Everything ok? Haven't caught a cold after all the naked skinny dipping have you?" Haley teased, enjoying seeing her friend smile and blush as she realized her married friends shared everything. Especially partial nudity on the beach….

"Peyton Sawyer, skinny dipping. _How_ long have I been gone? Who were you with?" Brooke's raspy voice was light, but she was wondering if she was with Lucas, and couldn't ask outright.

"The dipping was my idea, the naked part was all Lucas…" Peyton laughed, as she spoke before she thought, and realized what Brooke had really been asking. She met her former friends hazel stare, and realized she had missed seeing her smile.

"Well well. Glad to see you two have taken an extended break from brooding… I'm going to use the bathroom, excuse me." Brooke all but ran to the bathroom, confused as hell.

_Last time she'd seen Peyton, Peyton had been a mess. Just months after her and Lucas had ended, the wounds still so raw, she missed her period and couldn't bring herself to take a test. Brooke was there, armed with supplies, and pushed her into the bathroom. One positive, one negative test. Peyton was scared to take the third, didn't want to know. Neither did Lucas; she called him that night after comforting Peyton, and Brooke had been surprised to hear Lucas' tone so angry._

"_I don't care Brooke. She doesn't want to be with me. Why? Because today isn't someday." He spat the last word, as he hung up the phone. Giving himself a minute to think of Peyton and want her to be ok, he worried. Then, Lindsey returned to the dinner table, and all thoughts of his blondie ex vanished. Well nearly._

_Peyton was a mess, and decided a baby would be the worst thing to happen right now. She wasn't ready, and couldn't face the thought of single parenthood, or a tense, hateful relationship with Lucas as they shared their child. She decided to have an abortion, to move past this point to __something better. Brooke shouted, and yelled and tried to persuade Peyton to have this child. _

"_Adoption, foster care, keeping the baby. Peyton please! You'll regret this forever!"_

_Brooke couldn't understand why Peyton was so quick to be rid of Lucas' baby, and found it hard swallowing P's decision, as she knew this baby deserved a chance at life. When she confronted Peyton, years of hurt and accusation spilled out and their friendship was destroyed. Too ashamed of herself, Peyton didn't follow through with an abortion; no life deserved that. She lost her baby anyway, just a few hours later after her and Brooke yelled and cried together, she awoke to blood soaked sheets, and cried when the doctors told her she'd lost the baby, Lucas' baby, it was then that she fainted._

_Coming to, she found Haley and Nathan either side of her, holding both of her hands and watching her for signs of life._

"_Hey you. Thanks for coming back to us!" Haley joked, pleased her friend was still here._

"_Brooke?" she rasped, reminding them all of their croaky voiced friend._

_Nathan cleared his throat. "She left Peyton, went to NYC. She said you weren't who she thought you were, and needed some time to think."_

_Fresh tears fell as she cried for her lost baby, best friend and boyfriend. People always leave._

Brooke took a breath. What did all that matter? She left because she felt betrayed by Peyton's morals, and never looked back. So what if she had had an abortion? It was nothing to do with her.

She stepped out of the bathroom, and into the plush hallway, and almost ran straight into Peyton.

"Sorry… I…" Brooke whispered, looking at the happiness dancing in Peyton's eyes.

An awkward silence followed, as neither knew how to talk without mentioning why they hadnt spoken for 3 years.

"Did Lucas know?" Brooke asked, breaking the silence suddenly.

"Know what?" returned Peyton, her voice shaking.

"That you were pregnant, had an abortion." Brookes voice was emotionless.

For a moment, Peyton simply looked at Brooke; at her designer clothes, designer hairstyle - even designer flip flops. A world away from Tree Hill, and a world away from Peyton, and who she was now.

It wasnt always that way though, and seeing her friends brown eyes smile and plead with her, Peyton knew that whenever she was with Brooke, a part of her would always be 19 and a mess.

Deep breath.

"No, he does not know. Because I was falling apart, and he walked away, and... and... we...I don't want to hurt him, please don't tell him. Please." Her voice broke, and tears slipped down her cheeks.

Brooke did her best to remember Peyton had once been like a sister; questionable morals aside. She had one more question.

"So what happened then? After I left."

"I miscarried a few hours after we argued." Peyton's sadness rang out through the room, and Brooke felt any anger melt as she realized her friend needed a hug. Holding her breath to stop herself screaming out, Brooke & Peyton hugged, a hug that was full of love and friendship.

"Ouch!"

Brooke couldn't stop herself crying out loud as Peyton's elbow accidentally poked a rib. Peyton's eyes flickered over Brooke's outfit, and the source of her pain. She lifted the body of Brooke's sweater and flinched.

Too many bruises to count. Tears fell silently across her friends cheekbones, as her hands were wrapped in Brookes.

"A man came to… I was locking up and he..." Brooke couldn't say it, but Peyton understood.

"Your home now, ok? You're safe here, with me, Haley, Lucas and Nathan. I promise."

And Brooke believed her, needed to. That's what friends are for.


	10. She Who Dares To Stand Where I Stood

**So you know, this is a 'flashback' chapter. I kept deleting my futile attempts at this & it is take 10; let me know what you think.**

"_The darkness doesn't have any answers."_

_But no-one answered him. The apartment was empty._

_Nathan Scott hated seeing his friend like this, drowning in the darkness, and wished he could help. He opened her blinds and windows, picked up the dirty clothes and filled the garbage bag with rubbish, hoping it would ease her somehow. _

_Something was different in her living room, he noted. What was it? Then it struck him; she'd taken down all of her photographs and drawings. Gone were the memories of high school, her drawings and comic strips, the giant heart with Lucas' jersey number inside it. All gone. It was like part of her was gone too, she drew her heart out, and now he guessed she didn't see the point. He sighed, thanked god for Haley, and left quickly._

_--_

_Peyton slowly opened her eyes, wishing she could hold onto her dreams for a few more minutes. Lucas, which was all she dreamed of these days. And as she felt a hand on her bare shoulder, she thought that maybe, her dream had come true. Till the hand was replaced by a mouth she didn't recognize, and she was bitten, hard. Flinching, she turned over and screamed._

"_Who are you?"_

_The man next to her smiled. "You don't remember? You seemed pretty sure last night." He leered at her naked skin and she felt sick._

_Last night… last night… why couldn't she remember? And where was she?_

_Her head throbbed, and her stomach lurched. She really ought to drink less. Wanting to leave this scrummy apartment behind, she searched for her clothes, and found them thrown across a chair. Good, at least they hadn't touched the floor. Throwing a mumbled "Bye" at the stranger in the bed, she threw on her skirt and shirt, and ran for her life. Her broken heart barely remembered to beat these days, but her adrenaline kicked in and soon she was flying. _

_As the pain in her side reached breaking point, she slowed to a walk and looked where she was. Not far from the beach, she realised. Good. She needed to wash this man out of her hair. Running for the water, and ignoring the stares of those sunbathing, she jumped into the waves and felt the cold shock her awake._

_A few minutes later, alert but cold, she left the beach behind and began her walk home. As her head began its all too familiar throb, she wondered again about last night. The man, the black hole in her memory…She shuddered. Nothing happened, she was wasted and he took her home so didn't pass out in the street. She hoped, at least._

_She heaved, and felt herself go dizzy as her stomach emptied itself of her recent liquid-only diet. Again and again she retched, her throat burning and her heart breaking all over again. _

_Her thoughts turned to Lucas, and she cringed away from the memory of their last night together._

"_**Lucas… what is this? I couldn't bring myself to open it, I've just been sitting here thinking about how much I love you."**_

_**And she did love him, more than she was ready to admit, more than she would have ever thought capable. His grey eyes smiled as he made his way over to her. Oh boy. He was down on one knee.**_

"_**Well I wanted it to be a surpise but… Peyton I love you. And I want us to be together forever."**_

"_**Luke wait ok…" Her words crumbled in her throat as she looked up and saw the sincerity in Lucas' face.**_

"_**I know it's a bit sudden ok, but yesterday was a great day, and I'm sitting on the bus and I realize that none the great days in my life… matter without you. You're the one I want next to me when my dreams come true, you're the one I want next to me if they don't."**_

_**Both smiled at those words, remembering the moment he'd changed their lives, after the State Championship.**_

"_**As long as I have you, nothing else matters." She looked away, as Lucas' eyes searched hers for an answer.**_

_And her answer hadn't been enough. She'd said someday, he thought she didn't love him and he left her. No goodbyes, no plans for talking again, just the space next to her in the bed, and a giant ache in her heart._

_She felt guilty, as though she'd cheated on him or something. It had been months, but it felt like days not weeks. Probably on account of her drinking through her pain, the only way she coped these days. As she searched around for her phone in her purse, her fingers grazed something unfamiliar. She held it in the palm of her hand; a cocaine vial. An empty cocaine vial._

_Oh shit. _

_She threw it into the ocean, hoping that the dark shadow that hovered above her would disappear too. She shivered, in spite of the sunshine. As she looked around, she saw couples and families hanging out on the beach together. Somehow, it had become summer; it seemed life really did go on._

_Peyton sank down onto the sand, and let it run through her fingers as dates ran through her mind. As she worked her way back, she realized she was late. Like 8 weeks late._

_Oh shit._

_She pulled out her cell, and almost called Lucas, her hands shaking. Her thumb hovered over the 'call' button, but she couldn't do it. How many times could she hurt him? So she called the next best thing; Brooke. An angel, with a penchant for devilish behaviour._

Hands still shaking, she dialled. "Brooke? Its me. I think I'm pregnant."

_Oh shit. And then she was sick again._


	11. I Will Try, To Fix You

**Been a long time coming, sorry guys! Kind of been a messy week for me, and I wasn't sure where to move this story along to. I hope you like it, especially the ending. Reviews are love!**

Lucas looked down at his sleeping fiancé, and smiled. She looked so beautiful, and peaceful, her green eyes closed to the world, her blonde curls a mess on her pillow. Wishing he could join her in her dreams and see inside her head, he kissed her shoulder gently, before quietly slipping out of the bed and getting dressed.

Early morning practice wasn't any more fun for the coaches than the players, but this morning Lucas needed a distraction and basketball was always good at keeping his mind occupied. Arriving at the gym long before anyone else, he began shooting around, missing basket after basket, getting more irritated every time he heard the ball bounce off the backboard.

Resigning himself to today being a crap day, sat on the bleachers with his head in his hands, just trying to remember to breathe. As he sat there, trying to hold it together, the gym doors opened and the echo of footfalls reverberated around the room. Expecting Nathan, he looked up and was stunned.

"Peyton, hey, you here for practice?" He frowned, and tried to smile at the same time. It didn't work.

"Lucas, its Sunday morning, you don't have practice today." She smiled. "You've been a mess all week, what's going on?"

She sat down next to him, and reached for one of his hands, but he got up and began pacing the gym floor, absentmindedly bouncing a ball at the same time. He looked at her, and felt a stab to his heart. Her green eyes swam with concern as she followed his movements; her smile had long since vanished.

"I… came here to…. think, Peyton, about us, about you, about all of it. And I can't get you out of my head, and you won't let me inside yours." His words echoed around the gym, as he shot another basket; missed again.

"So this week, the silence, the barely touching me, the slamming doors and nights when you left me to go to the rivercourt, that was all because of me? And rather than tell me about it, so we can talk and work it out, you leave me _again_ to come here and pound the hell out the teams basketballs? Make up your mind Lucas, either you want to make it work or you don't; you can't sit there and yell about not knowing what's going on in mind when you _never asked._"

With that, she stood up, looked anywhere but him, and walked away, the echoes of her footsteps getting quieter and quieter as Lucas just stood and watched her leave, not knowing what to say or do. The writer was lost for words, how ironic. Throwing the ball into the bleachers, he walked out of the gym, feeling no better.

Lost in a bubble of self pity, Lucas almost ran straight into his brother.

"Hey man, watch it!" Nathan made light of it, hoping that would snap Lucas out of his dark place, but nothing. "Did something happen with Peyton?"

Lucas' eyes shot up at her name, his face giving away his attempt at nonchalance. "You saw her? Was she upset?"

Nathan chuckled. "She wasn't upset Luke, she was pissed off. She revved the hell out of her car, almost took me out right there in the parking lot. What's going on with you two?"

He asked, but wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. Lucas and Peyton had a history of trying to out-brood the other, and it could go on for a while, both as stubborn as each other. A match made in heaven, for sure.

Nathan interrupted the silence. "You know what man, don't answer that. Don't tell me; tell her, before she takes out a pedestrian or something." He laughed again, quietly, before punching his brother's arm and walking away.

Lucas smiled half heartedly, before willing his feet to move faster. He had to get home, he had to see her, kiss her, and tell her he loved her; before it was too late.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thud.

"Just walks out again, while I'm asleep!"

Thud.

"Doesn't ask me what's wrong!"

Thud.

"Can't see I need him to talk to me!"

Thud.

"Leaves me in LA and then never calls!"

Thud.

"Pouts in the gym at 6am!"

Thud.

Peyton punched her heart out, leaving her dummy reeling from the outpour of emotion. Exhausted and empty, she lay on the bed, and wrestled with the feeling that she had brought them to this point, and feel guilty for the despair she'd seen in Lucas' demeanour that morning.

As she thought his name, she heard the front door open and she jumped to her feet, in both surprise and fear; this moment was going to be a significant one, she could feel it.

"I was worried you might have left." Lucas' voice was barely above a whisper, but the vulnerability in his words and his stance made her jump.

"You asked me to stay and fight for you, fight for us. So I'm still here, and I always will be. I love you, Lucas."

He sighed, and moved toward her. "You have no idea how scared I was that I'd walk in here and find you and your stuff gone. I'm so glad you're here." Peyton didn't hear all of what he said, as he buried his face in her neck, his hands at her waist.

She pushed his hands away and took a step back. "Lucas, wait…"

He moved toward her, filling all the space and taking up all her oxygen. He gently touched her cheek; "What's going on?" he asked, his grey eyes searching her green ones.

Again she moved away, and began pacing, her feet moving faster than her racing heart.

"I…need to tell you something and I'm petrified. I'm petrified because I love you, and I need you, and I'm scared that I'm going to give you a reason to leave me without. Again. Like before."

"Is this about LA?"

Peyton punched the dummy again.

Thud.

"No, Lucas this is not about LA! I mean it is, but no we're not going to have the same fight about how you walked away from me without a word. Something happened, after you left me, and my head is screaming at me not to tell you because it might change everything. But my heart knows you need to know and I-"

His lips on hers cut her off mid-sentence as she lost herself in the simple feel of the man she loved next to her. His kiss was soft, gentle, loving; like Lucas himself.

"There is nothing you can tell me, Peyton that would make me walk away. Ok? So just spit it out, so I can keep kissing you." He smiled, and her resolve weakened a little. Until she glanced at his mirror, and saw the sonogram of his niece. He followed her eye line, and smiled at the picture as she did.

"I was pregnant in LA, Lucas. After you left, after I fell to pieces, somehow I woke up one morning and the pieces had fixed themselves. I was-"

"Pregnant." Lucas was stunned, finishing her sentence, trying to make sense of it. "Wait Peyton, was? What happened, did you… what happened?" His voice was more forceful now, reading between the lines and trying to stay one step ahead of the shock. He stood up as she took his hand in hers. "Cut the crap. What Peyton, what is it? Did you have an abortion?"

She began to cry. "Lucas, please, listen. I woke up one morning and I couldn't remember the night, or where I was or what I had done, and this creepy guy was there and and in my purse was an empty cocaine vial and I missed you so much, and I was falling apart. I got drunk, again, wound up on the beach again, somehow. I threw up and I missed you, and I called Brooke and I took the test." All her words hurried out in one breath, which then stopped as she let the sobs out.

"I didn't know what to do, and I was so scared, I was 19! And I decided I wasn't gonna be a mom, and Brooke got mad, we yelled and got into everything and I fell apart again and I wanted you so bad, and I was all alone. And then I started bleeding, and bleeding and I couldn't move… Lucas I'm so sorry!"

She flinched as he punched her dummy, no gloves, no restraint. His anger poured out of him, into the room.

"I'm so sorry." She was barely coherent now, as the tears took over and Lucas felt two stabs to his chest, one for the child he'd lost, and one for the pain Peyton was in. Her wracked, tortured sobs filled the house, as she tried in vain to get some air into her lungs. As quickly as the anger came, it left his body. He was tired of this, of fighting who they used to be, the mistakes they made. He moved towards her, itching to make her feel better.

Lucas' hands on her face, his thumbs gently brushing her cheekbones, she felt herself relax. Tears still rolling, she managed to breathe and calm herself down.

"Thank you for telling me," he whispered. "I'm sorry I left, and I'm sorry you were on your own. But its ok. Its ok, I'm here now. I'll always be here."

What felt like hours later to Lucas, she finally stopped punishing herself, and he felt her body in his arms go weak as all the fight and hurt in her escaped, leaving her empty; but strangely she felt free; and loved, as his arms pulled her in tighter as he lifted her onto their bed.

She collapsed just moments later, exhausted and lighter. He looked at her, and felt a rush of love and hurt merge together in his heart, and most off all the want to protect her, from that dark place she'd been in once before; _never_ again.

As all the hurt and fight left Peyton, sleep came easily; for Lucas, not so much. He was stuck in the past, trying to match who he was to who he is now. And one thing remained.

Watching her sleep, Lucas gently kissed her cheek and went to walk away. Turning back, he saw Peyton turn over and then he realized what tonight had been about.

She was holding her stomach.


	12. Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These

**I actually am a little stuck at this point…! When I wrote my first chapter, it was intended to be a one-shot, but here I am on my 12****th**** chapter! Thank you so much for the reviews, as this was my first time writing creatively, as well as my first fic, I wasn't sure anyone would like the story or the way I wrote it. So cheers! I hope you like where it goes next, and as always your thoughts and ideas and even criticisms would be so welcomed!**

**This kind of fills in a few blanks, possibly. I wanted to tell the B/P fight better, without flashing back constantly. I hope you like it.**

Brooke was having a dream.

"_Peyton! Listen to me, listen to me ok? You will regret this forever, every single day of your life, this moment will come back to you and you'll wish you'd done it differently. Please, don't do this."_

_Brooke was pleading with her, tears rolling down her perfect cheeks._

"_Brooke I… I can't do this alone ok, and I cant do it with Lucas if he doesn't want to be with me. And he doesn't, and now I'm here and this frigging stick is blue and I. Cant. Do. This."_

"_But Peyton you can! Your not alone, I'm here and Lucas would be too if he knew. I had a pregnancy scare in high school, junior year, and he stepped up he really did. Said he'd been raised by a single mom and would never want his child to not have a father, and he'd be there for me whatever I decided. Just please, call him."_

_As she said the words, she wondered why she had never told Peyton that before._

"_You had a pregnancy scare? How come you never told me?"_

_Brooke suppressed the urge to yell at her 'best' friend._

"_Because I had just found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me with my best friend, and he had the nerve to call me a slut, and I really wasn't ready to trust you." Jeez Brooke, she thought. Bitter much?_

_Peyton sighed. "Brooke, are we going to do this again? Rehash the past, fight over it like it changes anything? I'm sorry, he's sorry, it happened and you got hurt and I'm not proud of it."_

_Brooke turned to look her friend in the eye, her friend whose face hadn't changed all that much since high school._

"_No, Peyton, we're not going to rehash the past because we never move on from it. I still feel like the idiot that didn't see you two coming, and no matter what you say you don't regret what happened back then and you wouldn't change a thing. I cant believe you would be so selfish that you sit there, whining about how you 'cant do this' when you haven't told him the truth, and expect me to sit here, pity you, and drive you to your goddamn abortion. You got everything you wanted Peyton, and more, and you threw it away because you're stubborn as hell .Keep the baby, don't keep the baby. I don't care. And neither does Lucas."_

_Brooke's words cut through Peyton like a knife._

"_He doesn't care? YOU TOLD HIM!" Peyton couldn't control her emotions any longer._

"_Its always about what Lucas thinks or cares about, isn't it. I called him, while you were being sick for the 100__th__ time, and told him you were a mess and needed him. And he didn't care, said something about today not being someday, and hung up. I'm sorry Peyton, but your in this on your own, I cant sit here and watch you throw away everything, Lucas deserves better than that."_

"_You mean you?" Peyton all but spat._

_Brooke shook her head. "He just deserves better, Peyton."_

_And she walked away, leaving the door to Peyton's apartment wide open._

_SLAM._

And Brooke was awake, her dream so vivid it took her minutes to remember that time had passed, and she wasn't still fighting with Peyton. Shaking the memory out of her mind, she fell back to the pillow and slipped into an easy doze.

--

Lucas was dreaming too.

_Bouncing a ball with his right hand, Lucas walked towards the rivercourt, his head feeling clearer already as he headed to his safe place. Hoping that tonight basketball would clear his mind, he took a long shot from the halfway line. It went in._

"_Nice shot."_

_He turned around and damn near collapsed. Peyton Sawyer was looking at him, soaking up the man he'd become. And he took in the beauty that had come back to his life. Hair a little straighter but still a mess of curls, just the way he loved her hair to be. Her green eyes still lit up her face, showing every emotion. Her dress was black, a simple design but on her… his heart picked up pace as he stole a glance at her long, stunning legs that the dress didn't try to conceal. She was beautiful._

"_Nice legs."_

_She blushed, and moved toward him, and he moved back. If she touched him, looking like that, he'd have to kiss her, and he wasn't ready for that._

_She broke the tense silence. "How long has it been?" As if she didn't know._

"_A few years, maybe more." It had been 2 years, 9 months, 3 weeks and 5 days._

"_It's been more than that. God, Luke I missed you…" She moved toward him again, and he took another step back._

"_I have someone. I'm with someone. I can't –"Her hand on his arm silenced the words in his throat._

"_I'm going to go, let you have your quiet space to think." She read him like a book, knew he came here for space and clarity._

"_I'll be seeing ya, Lucas."_

His eyes flew open as he relived a day like it was yesterday, a dream so vivid, so real. He reached out a hand, and felt her warm body next to his – just a dream.

--

As the night gave way to day, Peyton dreamt too.

_Her cell phone rang. She looked at the display, felt her knees go weak 'Lucas cell' flashed in her hand. She took a deep breath._

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey it's me. So listen, I'm at the airport and I've got 2 tickets to Las Vegas. Do you want to get married tonight?"_

_Pure silence echoed between them._

"_Peyton, you there?"_

_He heard her breathing; good, at least she hadn't hung up on him_

"_Are you kidding me? You called me to propose, from the airport? Seriously?!"_

"_I know, ok, I know, it's not romantic and I'm a mess but…"_

"_But what Lucas?" She was smiling now, every nerve in her body on edge for what he was about to say._

"_I love you Peyton Sawyer."_

_He had floored her, she nearly dropped the phone. "Lucas, I love you, I do, but you can't take this year back with a phone call. I want you, so bad, but I'm afraid."_

"_The flight isn't till midnight, and I'm here, waiting for you."_

_She hung up on him then, hands shaking. Oh god, he had just proposed to her, again. She hastily threw some clothes in a bag, including a white dress. She all but ran to her car, afraid this moment wasn't going to last._

_As she wound her way through Tree Hill, she turned on the radio and smiled as she heard the opening bars of 'Matt White – Wait for Love.' Very apt._

_Peyton pulled into the airport car park, and saw him waiting, as he promised. He watched, as she parked her car, and walked over to him. His comet was returning to him, he knew it, and she knew it._

"_You're a mess a Lucas Scott. But you're my mess, and I love you."_

_And then finally, he kissed her._

She smiled, wide awake now, as she remembered that feeling so well; Lucas looking at her, and seeing all the way down to her soul, and kissing her so deep she couldn't breathe. She reached out her hand, suddenly wanting more than anything to just touch him. As she sat up, she heard the door open and his attempt at creeping in quietly.

"Lucas Scott! Where have you been its like 8am!" He smiled, as he came into their room and saw her still in their bed, her hair tousled and a mess of curls and her eyes dancing.

"Sweetie, its almost noon. I couldn't wake you, not even with a kiss. So, while you rested, I bought you something." He lifted a bag onto the bed.

She grinned. He placed it on her lap, and tried to hide his smile as she eagerly opened the bag.

"This is… long overdue..." Lucas began bashfully, as he got down on one knee, and she rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Lucas, we're living together, you already proposed to-"

Her words halted as he opened the small velvet box, and saw he'd bought her a ring. A white gold band, a princess cut diamond nestled between two sapphires.

"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, I love you, and I always will. So, will you stop living in sin with me, and marry me already?"

He assumed her kiss meant yes.

--

Brooke had almost forgotten about their last times together on the rivercourt; playing basketball, spray painting their names. Saying goodbye.

She smiled as she walked across the familiar blacktop, looking for the now faded names of people she barely knew anymore.

"So you come all the way down here, and I barely get a hug, huh?!"

Brooke smiled as she saw her beautiful friend make her way towards her, a stomach so beautifully bump-like, it took Brooke back to Senior year; a lifetime ago.

"Haley James Scott; I would never leave without a hug, or a goodbye. Promise! I know we havent chatted, I'm just..."

"Lost? We get that a lot round here, Brooke! Talk to me." Haley put her arms round her old friend, hoping to make her smile a little.

Brooke Davis had a lot of things; money, fame, celebrity, power. But lately, her life had lacked colour, and love. Two things which were currently sitting next to her. Just knowing someone had found her, and cared, made her broken heart soar.

"Oh Hales... Chase & I broke up, then Peyton & I broke up, then I went into business with my train wreck of a mother, then I start dating a great guy who leaves when I tell him... when we talked about..."

Haley frowned. "Told him what, Brooke?"

The silence lasted longer than Brooke intended; she just needed a moment to think. "I told Matt, that was his name, I wanted kids. 2 years together, and he bolts when we talk family, like I'm pressuring him! We're engaged. Or at least we were. Oh Hales I just... want you have."

Haley grazed her stomach, and caught sight of her wedding ring. She supressed a smile as she realized with a jolt how lucky she was.

"Is this about Matt? Or Lucas? Or Peyton? Or her baby? Or all of it?"

Brooke smiled weakly. "I miss him Haley, all the time. Lucas, I miss him. Not because I love him, or because I want to be with him, but because... I'm jealous. Peyton & him are beyond happy; I had that chance, with him, and we blew it. I miss who I was Haley."

"I miss her too."

Lucas interupted the wrong conversation at what may just be the right time...


	13. Unbreak My Heart

**Sorry this has been so long in coming! Lifes been a mess lately, but its getting better. So here is Chp 13; I hope you like it. Sorry if it confuses you, all will make sense next chapter! And listen to Toni Braxton - Unbreak my heart, because its awesome and fits PERFECTLY here. REVIEW PLEASE!**

"And I'll have the roast chicken and vegetables please, no salt. Thank you." Peyton handed her menu back to the waiter, her beautiful smile in place as always. Looking around the restaurant, the noise of the other customers made the silence at her table even louder.

Lucas cleared his throat; "How was your day?"

Peyton's beautiful green eyes rolled upwards at the absurdity of the question. "We've known each other 7 years, we're engaged, and all you can think of is 'how was your day?'"

Lucas laughed, once. "Sorry. How's Mia doing, her new album doing well?" He smiled a hopeful smile; but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

Peyton sighed. "It's gonna be awesome, she just broke up with someone so she's got a lot of angry, heartbreak songs dying to get out." Her words seemed to not exist tonight.

"Her world is crumbling, and her music is awesome because she's in hell." Peyton looked Lucas in the eye. "I'd buy it."

Her sentence fell into a silence too tense to break with questions; as she played with her napkin, and he took many regular sips of his glass of water, Peyton felt a solitary tear slide down her cheek.

Not bothering to brush it away, she looked at Lucas and saw his face as if for the first time; handsome, with classic features and beautiful eyes; eyes which looked at Peyton with despair, and loneliness, and she ached deep in her heart.

"I can't do this right now. I'm sorry, I just… can't." Peyton choked the words out, before her single tear was followed by many. She stood to leave; and Lucas saw her as if he was a stranger. She was beautiful, so graceful, even in heartbreak.

Peyton ran as she had never done before; her legs struggling to keep pace with her heart.

Feeling an ache in her chest that she was sure had nothing to do with the running, and everything to do with Lucas, she stopped; and let the tears flow, her green eyes drowning in sadness.

The tears simply fell and fell; she could no longer see where she was, her hands a blur in the moonlight; her beautiful engagement ring no more than a smudge in her vision. As she closed her eyes, she felt arms wrap themselves around her and pull her in tight. A familiar scent washed over her, and she relaxed her tense muscles; Nathan continued to hold her as all the fight left her wracked body.

Nathan didn't like to get involved with the drama of his brother; too many women, not enough time. But Peyton wasn't just another girlfriend, and everyone knew it. Lucas had found his "Haley" and Nathan was damned if he'd let his brother lose his soulmate.

"Thank you." Peyton rasped, her throat hoarse from crying. She looked up at her oldest friend, and felt a rush of love [the friendship kind of course] because she had needed a Scott, just not her Scott. And not tonight.

Nathan simply nodded a response to her, his arm firmly round her shoulders.

"So he told you? Lucas, he told you?"

Nathan frowned, and then sighed; what was the use in lying? "He told me, yeah. Well actually, he told Haley and she told me. But its basically the same thing." He looked to his friend, hoping for a smile. But one didn't come.

"Were you gonna tell me? Or was Brooke telling me the plan all along?" She stared him down, matching his concerned expression with her broken one. He pulled her closer.

"Sawyer, I love you. But it wasn't my story to tell. Besides, only a fool gets involved with you and Lucas."

Peyton sighed, and pulled away from Nate's embrace. "Well, then I guess I'm a fool." And she walked away, leaving Nathan feeling worse than he had before.

­­


	14. Because I'm Broken

**So sorry its taken me so long to update this story. To say the least, the last few months have been hard! But I'm back, and plan lots more updates soon! And this might get confusing... especially given theres a lot you dont know. All will become clear soon I promise, stick with me! Thanks again guys :)**

"_Suddenly, it was as if the roar of the crowd, the echo of the final buzzer, the cheers of my team mates, were all sounding from a thousand miles away. And what remained in that bizarre, muffled silence was only Peyton, the girl whose art and passion and beauty had changed my life. In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship, but simple clarity, the realization that we had always been meant for each other, and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth. I was now; I would always be, in love with Peyton Sawyer."_

Finishing the book for the umpteenth time, Peyton sighed before throwing the book across the room. Living in the past did no-one any good.

Struggling to stand, Peyton held the sofa for support as she slowly tried to stand, her enormous stomach almost making her topple. Feeling like she was getting bigger every minute, she looked down and couldn't help but smile as she gave up trying to stand. The last few months had flown by, and she was nearing her due date, and she was looking forward to being able to fit back into her regular clothes.

Sat alone in the dark, she let herself be swept up in a daydream, as the silence echoed around her.

"_And how are my girls doing?" Lucas asked, his lips gently brushing her jaw. Peyton linked her hands through his over her ever growing stomach and smiled. "We're great." She turned to face him, leaning over the back of the couch and pulled him in close, and kissed him with a passion that momentarily took him by surprise. _

"_I love you, you know that?" She held his face in her hands, her green eyes locked on his as he simply looked at her, conveying so much with a look._

_I love you too Mrs Sawyer." And with that, he kissed her again, before taking her by the hand and leading her to their bedroom_

The ache in her chest brought her back from her fantasies, and she silently cursed herself for opening her wounds and giving into the yearning she'd never been able to deny.

She wanted Lucas, his arms around her, his lips on her neck. His scent and his presence soaking up all the oxygen. She needed him, he made her feel safe, and right now she'd give anything to feel safe.

She knew she'd asked him to leave, and told him she didnt want to be with him, but the way she was feeling right now, she wasnt sure that she'd done the right thing. She ached for him, and wanted him here with her now, his hands on her stomach as their baby wriggled and kicked inside her, his face lit up as he talked about what he was looking forward to, how pleased he was that he was going to be a father.

She didnt want to take that away from him, but right now, she was.

Whatever he'd done, he didnt deserve to lose their daughter, a chance to be what Dan couldnt.

A lone tear escaped down her cheek as she realized a month too late that all she needed, all she wanted, was Lucas. Flaws and all. Why had it taken her so long to realize?

Her one tear became many as she gave in to the loneliness she felt, and in that moment she knew what she wanted, and what she needed to do. Holding the phone in her hand, she took a deep breath; but before she could dial she allowed herself to relive her last conversation with Brooke, running over it again in her mind. Glancing around the room at the photographs and drawings that told her story, she knew that this was the right thing, even if Brooke's words echoed in her mind.

_"Peyton? Are you here?" Brooke slowly pushed open the door to the house, remembering the countless times she'd been here as a teenager. A lifetime ago. _

_Rearranging her smile back into place, she waited for Peyton to invite her in, let her know it was ok to be here. She heard no words, but heard something else. Closing the door gently behind her, Brooke followed the sound to the bathroom and was startled to find Peyton sat on the floor next to the toilet, hair pulled away from her face as what looked like morning sickness took hold. Brooke suddenly knew she shouldnt be here, intruding on this moment for Peyton who looked so vulnerable and small in that bathroom, her happiness radiating outwards even with the sickness. She recognized the pinch in her heart; unadultered jealousy, something she hadnt expected to feel._

_What was it about Peyton that brought out that old feeling in her? It didnt make sense, she was Brooke Davis! She had money, celebrity, power. Things she'd always wanted._

_But there was no Lucas in her life, and she knew whose fault that was; hers._

_"Peyton... its me. Are you ok? Can I get you anything? Water?" Brooke moved towards her old friend, unsure of where to stand or what to say._

_Peyton stood, and rinsed out her mouth, and quickly brushed her teeth. For a minute, Brooke wasnt sure Peyton had even heard her, until her friends icy tone broke the silence._

_"I'm fine, thanks. What are you doing here Brooke?" Her green eyes frowned as she wondered about her friends motives. She moved towards the door, and found her old friend blocking the way. "Excuse me, can I get out of my own bathroom please?!" Peyton almost laughed at the absurdity, asking to leave her own bathroom in her own house!_

_Brooke didnt move; she was concentrating on breathing slowly, keeping herself calm. She had to do this, and it had to be now, before she lost her nerve._

_"I kissed Lucas."_

_The silence in the room was thick, heavy, like a dark cloud that neither could escape._

_"You what?" Peyton spoke quietly, her face betraying no emotion, but she knew Brooke had heard her._

_"Last night... I kissed Lucas. Well he kissed me actually. I'm really sorry Peyton, I thought you should know."_

_Peyton couldnt feel her legs, she wasnt sure how she was still standing, all she could feel and hear was her heart beating out of her chest; Lucas? Brooke? A kiss? How had this happened? She didnt know what to say to Brooke, wasnt sure what to think. Her Lucas, the guy who loved to protect her, who had promised to never hurt her again. The betrayal stabbed at her heart._

_"Peyton listen I dont think it me-" Her words were stopped short by Peytons glare; her anger palable._

_"Brooke, I dont know why you're here or what you wanted to gain by telling me, but mission completed. My heart is broken; are you happy? We're even, you can rest easy now. Get out."_

_"Peyton-" Brooke couldnt find the words, could hardly breathe. She shouldnt have come here._

_"Brooke please," Peytons tears escaping despite her best intentions, "Just leave, go. I cant do this ok just..."_

_"I'm gone." Brooke headed for the door, her footsteps heavy, laced with guilt. What had she done? _

_She turned to look at Peyton one last time, and flinched; her heartbreak was all over her face. _

_"I'm sorry" she whispered, before quietly slipping out._

Peyton was brought back from her daydream by a sudden kick in her stomach, some reassurance from her child that she'd be ok. She smiled, wishing she wasnt alone.

She picked up the phone.

**Comments, criticisms & reviews are LOVE! **


	15. Some People Wait A Lifetime

**Ok, so 2 chapters in one night! Do I spoil you or do I spoil you! ;)**

**Really not sure about this chapter, PLEASE review and tell me what you think. More about Brooke & Lucas to come, alllllllll will become clear.**

**Thanks for reading!**

Lucas paced nervously; one end of the corridor to the other, keeping the white doors in sight as he tried to let go of some of his agitation. He glanced at the clock again; it had barely moved since he'd last looked – was it even working? He sighed, and sat down, taking Peyton's engagement ring out of his pocket and holding it. How did he end up here? A few hours earlier he'd been so happy, she'd called him and he hoped she was ready to let him back into her life, he needed her. She was like oxygen to him, she made breathing easier.

He racked his brain, ran the last few hours back through his mind, as he waited and waited.

"_Peyton! Peyton! Wake up, please!" Lucas fought to be heard over the ambulance sirens as they raced to the hospital, flashing blue lights across the road; an emergency. He did nothing to stop the tears as they flowed, his hand locked in hers as his eyes focused on hers, willing her to open her eyes. _

_As the sirens thankfully came to an end and paramedics swarmed the ambulance, Lucas was pushed aside as she was wheeled into the hospital, his heart a solid lump in his throat, stopping him from breathing. _

_He chased the stretcher down the halls, heard shouts about blood pressure, pulse and how many months pregnant she was. A nurse came to him as Peyton disappeared through a set of restricted access white doors; she asked him to come to the family room if he'd like to wait._

"_Where is she? Where have they taken her, I should be with her. She hates hospitals." Lucas struggled to catch his breath, as the lump in his throat swelled._

_The nurse sat next to him, and took his hand in hers. "She's gone for an emergency C-section, she has pre-eclampsia, and it's better for her that we deliver the baby early, rather than risk anything. She'll be ok, but you need to have some faith." With that, she turned to leave, smiling at Lucas, feeling so sad for this man._

"Lucas! Are you ok? Where's Peyton? What's going on, your message just said to come to the hospital?" Lucas looked up and saw Haley, concern and love pouring out of her hazel eyes.

Lucas felt a hand on his shoulder, and let himself be pulled into a hug. Nathan said nothing, and neither did Lucas for a long time. He simply gave in to the ache in his chest, and let his little brother look after him. When he'd pulled himself together, he explained what happened.

"Its all my fault. She called me and I went to see her, and she said she missed me. I went to her, to hold her, to kiss her and she… she… collapsed. Like all the life and strength in her went out, and she called out for me before she hit the floor. She didn't wake…I couldn't… she-" Lucas' words were cut off by his tears. He never cried, but the thought of losing her, of losing them both, terrified him.

Nathan put his hand on Lucas' shoulder. "Its gonna be ok Luke, you just need to believe that."

Lucas' eyes flew up to meet Nathan's gaze. "And what if she isn't? What if I lose her, or the baby? What then?" His sudden outburst made Haley jump. "I can't lose her, Hales, I cant, I cant…" His anger disappeared as quickly as it had come, replaced by a gut wrenching fear that made even breathing hard.

Haley held his hand in hers. "We know, Luke, we know. Just believe ok, she came back to you before, she'll do it again. You two are like magnets or something, drawn to each other."

"Haley's right man, you two are like halves of a whole; she needs you right now, don't forget that." Lucas managed a small smile. "Thanks for being here guys it means-"

"Mr Scott?" A nurse approached a neutral expression on her face. "I'm sorry to interrupt but your wife is out of surgery – would you come with me please?"

Lucas jumped to his feet, relief evident in his face. "And the baby? Are they both ok?

"Your wife is still unconscious, but she's stable. If you could follow me, I can explain on the way."

Lucas silently followed the nurse.

Nathan turned to Haley, a quizzical look on his face. "Explain? What's there to explain?"

**- - - - - - - **

"Mr Scott, we had to do an emergency caesarean. Your fiance's blood pressure dropped too low and we had to act, and fast, to keep them both safe." The nurse's voice was calm, and level, Lucas couldnt work out if she was telling him good or bad news.

"My daughter... Peyton... are they ok? Are they both ok? Please." Lucas tried to breathe, feeling lost as he didnt know what to expect or what to think; had he lost everything?

The nurse looked at Lucas, and saw a man whose heart was trying to hold it together. She hated her job sometimes, seeing these fleeting moments of vulnerability she felt she was intruding on. She felt for him, and was glad she wouldnt be breaking any bad news to him today.

She held his hand, and he was glad to feel the warmth of someone near him, it comforted him to know he wasnt alone. "Mr Scott she-"

"Its Lucas, please."

She smiled. "Lucas, your wife is doing well. She's been asleep, but she woke & is being cleaned up. She stirred briefly minutes after your daughter was born. She'll be resting soon, you can see her in a few minutes."

The relief on his face was evident. He could feel his heart pounding with relief, his lungs filling with oxygen as he was finally ready to breathe. Knowing he hadnt lost her, his other half, was all he'd needed to know. She was still here, he still had a chance.

"And my daughter?"

The nurse pointed him towards a large window, looking into a nursery. She pointed to a little girl the middle, swaddled in pink and fast asleep, a little bracelet on her ankle declaring her as 'Baby Scott.'

"There she is, you're daughter."

Her words fell on deaf ears, as the world around him faded away; his daughter, his little girl, was here. His baby, that was half him & half Peyton, had arrived into the world and wondered if he'd ever felt so happy.

"Baby Scott? Peyton and I, we're not married, who told you to name her Scott?" Lucas dared to wonder if what he was thinking was true.

"Peyton did, when she stirred for a few minutes. We told her Baby Sawyer was here, and we were soon corrected." She smiled, and made to leave Lucas to his child. "Congratulations Mr Scott, she's beautiful."

As he looked up and saw Peyton being wheeled back to her room, he smiled.

"Yes, she is."

**Hit the button, be brutally honest and tell me what you think! :)**


	16. Finally Ready To Be

**I wrote the last few chapters of this last night, at 2am! And a lot of it didnt make sense, and I missed out huge chunks. Sleep deprivation for you! I've changed the last 3 chapters, hopefully for the better. Sorry to the reviewers who commented they were confused, hopefully now you're not! Please let me know! Many thanks.**

Time seemed to run away with him today, as he allowed minutes to run by with him doing nothing more than hold her close, and look into her eyes. This was worth every heartbreak, every tear, every mistake, for this moment, this feeling. He'd heard poets describe it, singers try to express it & his own heart try to prepare itself for what this felt like – but it seemed to Lucas that right at that very moment, no words existed.

He was a dad.

One tear, then two silently splashed onto her cheek, as a love so strong it almost stopped his heart came pouring out of his broken heart.

"She's beautiful, isn't she, so perfect." Peyton's voice quietly interrupted Lucas' moment, as she returned to her room to find the strongest man she'd ever known break down at the sight of their daughter.

"Yeah she is. Like her mother." Lucas taking his eyes off his daughter for a minute, to look Peyton in the eye. His girls, his family.

She was overwhelmed by the sudden & very new rush of love for her daughter, barely hours old but already her entire focus. She felt another urge; to protect. She hoped her child would never know heart ache and sadness, that her life would be filled with fairytales and music, that she'd emerge unscathed from her teen years, her heart intact. Unlike her.

Peyton turned to leave, sensing she'd ruined a moment Lucas had been waiting for forever. Smiling slightly, she took a step towards the door. Lucas stood as she did, and moved towards her. His face was like an open book for a second, wide open for the world to see. He'd never looked happier.

His cheek brushed hers as he gently kissed her cheek, before whispering in her ear. "Thank you. For calling me yesterday, for letting me be here."

Peyton shivered, his sweet whisper leaving an imprint on her neck. "I'm sorry it took me so long to call you, I was just hurt and angry, and just needed to be by myself with that. But that doesn't mean that I don't love you, or that we can't make this work, if you want to."

He moved slowly towards her & Peyton's nerve endings were tingling, as his lips brushed hers, kissing her so softly. He looked into her eyes for a moment, the sincerity of the moment visible in his gaze. "I love you, Peyton Sawyer. And I'm so so sorry."

He looked away then, and moved to where his daughter was sleeping. He stood watching her, his heart racing, waiting for a sign from her that they would be ok.

Her hands shaking, she took a deep breath and followed her heart.

She kissed him with all the passion she felt, pouring every feeling into it, hoping he'd understand. He was in her heart, he always ways.

They stayed that way, locked at the lips, their tears mingling as the release they'd both needed finally came, in the simple feeling of their hearts beating together.


	17. The Sex Is On Fire

**A little smut to keep you going. A real, good update on its way.**

What a way to wake up; beautiful sunshine, the smell of a fresh cup of coffee, and most of all the sound of Lucas around her. Peyton smiled as she felt him try to quietly creep back to bed, and slide under the covers, his hands wrap around her waist to pull her closer, as though they had been lying too far apart.

She turned over so they were face to face, and smiled at his lame attempt to feign sleep. She threw back the covers, and straddled him, smiling as he suddenly came very much to life, and seemed to enjoy the early morning wake up call, the brush of their skin already making his heart race. She leant down, her knees either side of his hips, and kissed him, gently.

As she went to break the kiss, he sat up and moved with her, keeping their lips together as his hands moved to her hair and the kiss became anything but gentle.

Minutes trickled by as they simply lost themselves in a kiss that became so much more than his lips on hers. His arms pulling her closer, the urgency of her hands as she pulled his shirt up & off, her breathlessness as he wrapped his hands in her hair, making the friction almost unbearable as neither wanted to break the moment to remove the clothes that kept them apart.

"I missed this," Lucas breathed into the curve of her shoulder, as he kissed it before gently pushing the straps of her tank top down, his thumbs brushing her arms and sending goosebumps across her skin.

She didn't say anything, for minute she just stayed there, sitting in his lap, her legs wrapped around his hips, her almost in pain from how much she wanted him. And she did, in every sense, in every way. She held his face in her hands, just for a minute, before telling him in a voice barely above a whisper "I missed you too" before he smiled, and gently moved her off his lap, onto the bed.

They both felt the coolness on their skin as they separated, her body blazing hot at the points where they'd touched. Her hands immediately reached for him, wanting heat and electricity, the feeling of skin on skin. As he moved across, her hands moved from his chest to his shorts, pushing them away he lowered himself onto her. Kicking his shorts away, she smiled as she felt the weight of him on her, the reassuring feeling of a puzzle piece slotting to place.

Her pants were quickly removed, Lucas barely looking to see where they landed as he threw them aside. His hands held hers above her head as their lips meant, any pretence at an earlier gentleness abandoned.

He opened his eyes, and pulled his lips away, and held her gaze. Their bodies pressed together, hearts racing, hands and limbs entwined, he slowly moved into her and watched as her eyes snapped closed at the moment he entered her.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he moved his hips back and forth, back and forth. Her lips parted as she pulled oxygen in, her cheeks flushed. "Open your eyes," he said, as he let go of one of her hands, and brushed her face. Her green eyes opened as his thumb gently brushed her cheekbone, his skin a warm roughness on hers.

Wordlessly, she moved against him as she held his gaze, their hips easily falling into the same pattern, moving as one in the same slow rhythm.

Her hands gripped his arms as the frustration and pleasure built in her, wanting more of him, as he painfully moved in the same slow way. His eyes never broke from hers as he moved faster, her hips matching him thrust for thrust as together they reunited, a sweet release for both of them as months of separation were erased in a single embrace.

**Hope you enjoyed. Comments are looooooooove. (The baby is like asleep or something before you ask. Just go with the sex! Ha)**


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